Cumberland Times-News

June 29, 2013

An Alaskan moose hunt? Just do it!


Cumberland Times-News

— We have all seen that the topic of amnesty for illegal immigrants has once again become a hot political and news issue.

This is an emotional thing as well as an important issue, but, to be honest, a person can get tired of hearing about it.

So I was thinking about how I might apply the concept of amnesty to my own life.

The whole case for amnesty is that those folks just came here because they wanted a better life, so we have to accept that, even though the very fact of how some of them got here is an illegal act.

Well, I want to go on a moose hunt. Not for just an ordinary moose, but an Alaskan moose.

You know, one of those huge critters with a nose as big as your head and a set of antlers inside which a grown man can lie down. There is something intriguing about hunting a deer whose shoulders are higher off the ground than my own.

Ever since I was a kid I have wanted to hunt moose.

The only trouble is that I cannot afford to pay for the deal. As near as I can tell, an Alaskan moose hunt starts at about $10,000. That is probably a low-ball figure which does not include license fees and the very considerable cost of just getting to moose country.

It all adds up to a great deal of money just to fulfill a lifelong dream.

But I really do want to go on a moose hunt. So ... I was thinking that I would just go.

Run up there to that Klondike country, shoot one of those big hummers and bring it on home to West Virginia.

If I should get caught in this crime, and I probably would because it has to be difficult to sneak a 1,000 pound animal across the country, I will simply apply for amnesty.

After all, the underlying principles are the same. I want to hunt moose. It would make my life better.

And, since I want to I should be able to, whether I do it in a lawful manner or not.

Is it fair that someone else gets to kill a moose just because they have more money than me?

Sure, they might have worked harder than I have, or just be plain smarter about money than I am, but that does not get me my moose.

Then there are those who just had the luck to be born in moose country, so they get to hunt the big deer without the cost of a guide.

In the spirit of fairness to all, this condition must not be allowed to continue.

This amnesty would bring a lot of frustrated and under-resourced moose hunters out of the shadows, I am sure.

Well, it makes as much sense to me as the kind of amnesty that all the politicians are talking about.

Dave Long is a retired West Virginia conservation officer and a frequent contributor to the Outdoors page.