Published: July 18, 2008 12:06 am         

Stoplights, piggyback taxes on list of pet peeves

Morris says he doesn’t think town is getting weekly visits it’s due from inspector; program not a year old

Nostalgia! Sounds bad ... like a sickness, like neuralgia or neuritis. Nostalgia, I believe, does have a connection to illness, when you think about the good ole days, and compare them to the *@#!? new days — well it makes you sick, doesn’t it?

Whatever happened to honest politicians? Or, were there ever any of them at all? What happened to: the price of gasoline, the current housing crisis, where young folks may have been allowed to bite off more than they can chew up and swallow. Well, I, for one am getting tired of it. I simply refuse to exist in the present all of the time. I need that brief respite, a mini-vacation into the pleasing “Twilight Zone” of the past. But, I’ve still got some things to get off my chest.

Thanks to selective memory, most of us do not seek to remember our painful past, instead simply choosing to fondly look back to the pleasant, pleasing, perfectly poetic past. Wow, now that’s a lot of alliteration, isn’t it?

I don’t mean to gripe publicly, and rant and rave about all the things that upset me, but maybe, just maybe, somebody can come up with some answers. I will list some really nasty stuff, in my opinion, that needs to be fixed, and you folks can send me what you think can be done to repair these inequities. If you’re ready, here goes.

• Farmers markets are scheduled on Thursdays. So, what if I would like some fresh corn on the cob for dinner Tuesday evening. Do I have to eat corn that was grown half way to South America, and picked for us while it was still green to prevent spoilage during shipment? Why can’t the farmers be allowed to sell their produce all week long? We have lots of local farmers that would benefit from this, so let’s eat that corn, and have the guts to ask for more!

• Something that irks me to no end is a machine that stands there and demands my money. I hate those damn parking meters. Downtown merchants, at least those who are still there, would appreciate having more customers, wouldn’t they? The malls offer free parking, and their lots are almost always packed. Cool Hand Luke had the right idea. Bring back free parking!

• Here’s the grand-daddy of tick-me-offs! Stoplights. Have you ever approached one only to have it turn red just before you get there? Of course you have. Then you sit there for an interminable time while no traffic passes in front of you. What about that expensive gasoline that was just wasted while going nowhere? Do these lights think we are just going to blindly crash into another car crossing our paths? Why do they think cars have brakes? What’s wrong with a simple red stop sign? You stop ... let somebody pass then go again. We did it for years until some beurocrat found a good deal on purchasing stoplights by the dozen. No electricity needed! I tremble when I think of the havoc during a power outage. Let’s bring back the idea of trusting humans as drivers.

• Here’s one that forced me to relocate my very own residence. Piggyback taxes! This little piggy grew tired of that one real quick. What was the original intent of it? Perhaps it was just put in there to see if we would simply pay it. Maybe it was just a temporary thing to cover a shortage, then they forgot about the temporary part. Whatever! It is a slap in the face. Why not just raise the darn tax outright and call a spade a spade? No, they just insult you and then cash your piggy-backed check. Its almost as bad as the “flush tax.” I remember thinking that it must be like a pay toilet in your home. A small meter that records flushes like the one for electric or water. They even went so far as to tax people on the other side of the Continental Divide. Even though their flushes went into the Gulf eventually. They rebelled, and rightly so.

• This register is closed. So, why are there 15 of them sitting idly by while I wait for the one and only operational to charge me for that loaf of bread so I can leave? Same is true of bank teller windows. The worst part, is while standing there waiting, you can see the employees busily stocking shelves. I am of the opinion that the shelves can be stocked after the crowd at the register is dismissed. This then, is another good reason for the farmers market to be eternally open.

OK, so now you know that I am opinionated as well as impatient. But ... I am a consumer of whatever items I am in line for. I think my time is worth something. It is to me! When the pearly gates are thrown open to either welcome me, or turn me away, wouldn’t those lost minutes come in handy to extend your personal “do not use beyond this date?”

Market research has never asked me what should be done to correct these inequities. Good thing too, ’cause I would have a piece of somebody’s ear for a while. These gripes can’t be sweated over by only me.

What irritates you? I would be more than happy to read your pet peeves. That is, as long as they are different from my own, and as long as they are not too long ... excessively. Just stick to the point of it.

It may be that yours is just like many others, and if they are, we can all band together and change it.

If not immediatley, we can always wait till Election Day. Remember ... we are many!

Wouldn’t Andy Rooney be proud of us?

Joe Dorsey, a resident of Short Gap, W.Va., is a retired employee of the U.S. Postal Service. He writes occasional fetaures for the Times-News. He may be reached at (304) 726-8482.