Seen on the Internet — Workplace one-liners:
• When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I write, “A very good doctor.”
• After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian — until I realized there was no future in it.
• The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
• The workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money.
• Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
• I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.
Jan Alderton is managing editor of the Cumberland Times-News. Contact Jan Alderton at email@example.com.