Cumberland Times-News

Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything

December 21, 2013

Dear Santa, Del. Beitzel

So, I got to thinking, who are the two folks who could help me get something I want?

Then it dawned on me that two important dates are on the horizon, Christmas and the first day of the 2014 Maryland General Assembly session.

Aha! When I write my letter to Santa this year I will copy it to Delegate Wendell Beitzel. After all, with the changing of the district lines for Maryland state delegates, I now live in Wendell’s district. Plus, Wendell is the co-chairman of the Maryland Legislative Sportsmen’s Caucus, so I know he is interested in wildlife issues.

In fact, the delegate recently attended the 10th Annual National Assembly of Sportsmen's Caucuses Sportsman-Legislator Summit in Illinois, rubbing shoulders and discussing outdoor issues with counterparts from various states.

Here is my letter.


Dear Santa Claus and Delegate Wendell Beitzel,

I have only one item on my Christmas wish list this year.

I would like my readers who hunt to be able to get after squirrels or ducks or grouse or deer or rabbits or turkeys on every Sunday during the seasons for each of those species.

I would like a grandfather to be able to take a grandchild into the woods on a Sunday to hunt squirrels.

I would like a construction worker who works Monday through Saturday to have a day to hunt.

I would like hunters in Maryland to be brought up to the level of people who go to movies or swim or fish or ride motorcycles or play tennis.

Those folks are not prohibited from taking part in their favorite activities just because it is Sunday. And, in fact, hunting is more safe than many of these other activities.

I would like a person who pays taxes on his or her land seven days a week to be able to hunt on Sunday if they choose.

Santa, please tell the critters that pull your sled that they have nothing to worry about. Maryland does not have a reindeer hunting season.

Delegate Beitzel, please tell the Marylanders who don’t hunt that they have nothing to worry about.

They are at more risk from a stray dog than from a legal, license-buying hunter.

I know, sir, that during your Illinois summit you visited with representatives from states where Sunday hunting is legal during prescribed seasons.

In fact, that is the case for most of the United States of America.

It is only in a few Eastern states where this prejudicial blue law remains in effect.

I thank you and your fellow caucus members for the small amount of Sunday hunting we have acquired in recent years. Now it is time to take the full step, to introduce a bill that would allow us to hunt on Sundays throughout the appropriate seasons for each and every game critter.

I’d like it to apply to both private and public lands, but if you want to restrict it to private lands, well, that’s OK.

Also, if you want Sunday hunting to apply statewide, that’s cool, but at least introduce it for Almost Maryland.

The capable biologists who work for the Maryland Wildlife & Heritage Service have often told us that there is no biological reason to restrict Sunday hunting, that the additional day per week would not imperil any wildlife.

So, please, the two of you, give this request some serious consideration. I’m on my way to the food market to purchase milk and cookies.

And I promise not to sit on your lap.


Mike Sawyers,

Outdoor Editor

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Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything
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    July 20, 2014

  • They’d have fallen like Autumn leaves

    So there we were, minding our own business (at least momentarily), leaning against the cannon at Little Round Top.

    July 13, 2014

  • Better read that french fry before you eat it

    People give me otherwise-insignificant items they hope will amuse or inspire me. I appreciate this. I’m always glad for free entertainment, which as Goldy’s Rule 33 says is everywhere. All you have to do is wait and it will come to you. Also, I have been writing columns for 37 years and embrace inspiration anywhere I can find it.

    July 6, 2014

  • The moose is loose, and it’s coming for you

    So how would you like to look out your kitchen door window onto your porch and see a moose looking back at you from close range?

    June 28, 2014

  • There are some debts you can never repay

    Today’s column will be relatively short, as my columns go, for reasons that should become apparent, and I thought long and hard before writing it.

    June 21, 2014

  • It could have saved the county a lot of money

    Random thoughts sometimes occur to me when I least expect it, usually when my brain has become tired.
    When I voice these thoughts at work or in other places, people may tell me, “Goldy? It’s time for you to go home.” Yes, ma’am.
    Here are two random thoughts of recent vintage:
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    • If Daisy Duck got a job driving for United Parcel Service, would she be an UPS-a-Daisy?
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    June 15, 2014

  • These two were part of the Not Top Ten

    Occasionally, at this time of year, I see reference to a “class orator” or a “class speaker.”

    Nothing wrong with that — people can call such things whatever they want, as far as I’m concerned — but it makes me wonder. Have “valedictorian” and “salutatorian” become politically incorrect, and I didn’t notice? It may come as a surprise to you, but I really have not kept up with what is politically correct or incorrect. That’s what people tell me, anyway. With some of them, it actually seems to be a compliment.

    June 8, 2014

  • Coming soon to a highway near you?

    People say to me, “Goldy? Can I ask you a stupid question?”

    In theory — and theory only — the correct response is: “The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask.” Not so much. There ARE stupid questions, some of them so stupid that to call them stupid is to damn them with faint praise. Other questions are — on the face of it — legitimate questions, but shouldn’t be treated as such ... not if you subscribe to the same philosophy that I do: Free entertainment is everywhere; all you have to do is wait, and it will come to you.

    June 1, 2014

  • This was a skill that proved very useful

    The Belmont Park stewards have decided to let California Chrome wear his nasal strip during the Run for the Carnations. Nasal strips usually are worn by people who snore and may have saved numerous marriages. It helps the Triple Crown hopeful to breathe, and some twolegged athletes wear nasal strips for the same reason. In this case, Chrome’s nasal strip may keep him from (wait for it) ... losing by a nose.

    May 25, 2014

  • He made a big splash by asking this question

    “I don’t know who you were talking to last night,” said Capt. Gary, “but you were talking and moaning in your sleep. Never heard you do that before.” Neither has anyone else, I said. Besides, I had told him not to be surprised if we had visitors. I wasn’t at the top of my game for a couple of days, and he said some of our friends asked him if I was all right. It’s not the first time for this, so now I’ll know to watch out for it. It can affect you and is not something to play around with — as our friend Cathy found out.

    May 18, 2014

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