Cumberland Times-News

Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything

Jim Goldsworthy - Anything and Everything
  • If you can sleep well at night, here’s why

    One of my companions excused herself and said she wanted to go to the toilet and wash her hands before our lunch arrived.

    March 8, 2014

  • Maybe his name will be on the list some day

    Even if you have no idea who Doris “Dorie” Miller was, you may have seen him portrayed an old movie. The audience wasn’t told who he was, but some of us recognized him.
    I looked for him on a list of new Medal of Honor recipients and was disappointed not to find him there.

    March 1, 2014

  • He still walks the floor ... but there’s no floor

    Here’s a question you probably never expected to hear:
    What’s the strangest thing that ever happened while you were sitting on the toilet?

    February 22, 2014

  • This wasn’t the best place to stretch out

    First, an apology. The opening part of our Feb. 2 discussion (“Those people had plenty to argue about”) should have read:

    February 15, 2014

  • Bad as it may be, the other one is far worse

    One problem I have with being sick is that I don’t always realize I’m as sick as I am.
    My mother is no longer around to tell me I am sick, so I have to rely upon other people to do that. This now includes my dentist and one of his hygienists.

    February 8, 2014

  • Those people had plenty to argue about

    Tomorrow is the 99th anniversary of a minor footnote in American history but an important date in West Virginia history.

    February 1, 2014

  • Jim Goldsworthy The bum ran off? It’s OK, you’re covered

    My current favorite TV commercial is the one in which two young men in gray suits are sitting in the front seat of a car.

    January 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • You think it’s cold? Here’s what cold is

    I have been colder at times than I was last Tuesday. That doesn’t mean I enjoyed it, and I didn’t spend much time out in it.
    Cold is relative. An e-mail friend of mine lives in Alaska, and she occasionally tells me about it. I Happy-New-Yeared her and told her it was 50 degrees here. She said winter would catch up with us, eventually. (Another woman I won’t argue with.)

    January 11, 2014

  • Not all humans are descended from apes

    It is time for another edition of Goldy’s Rules.
    They include Rules I recently thought up or heard about, plus some I have long abided by and only now remembered.

    January 4, 2014

  • Jim Goldsworthy If you’ve heard seven, you’ve heard them all

    I get to read my buddy Maude’s column before you do (and before she gets to read mine), and she sometimes provides a spark of inspiration

    December 28, 2013 1 Photo

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