Published: June 06, 2008 11:59 pm         

It’s all in the way that you look at it

Here’s good news. In England, dogs born after April 6, 2007, will not be allowed into the show ring if their tails are docked.

I never could understand why any dog’s tail had to be cut off before he got old enough to make the decision himself. When I was 13, I got my second dog, Jeep, a huge black cocker spaniel, from a breed that just automatically got docked as puppies, whether they wanted it or not. World War ll emergencies being what they were at the time (that’s what the breeder told us — I think his docker had been drafted) or for some other reason, they never got around to doing the job on him. He grew a proud free plumy tail that always made people look twice — especially people who knew the cocker spaniel tradition.

I was always proud of his hinder distinction, but the really ironic part about this is that the fates could not be stopped. One day not too long after I got him, we were coming in together from a romp in the back yard, and the screen door, which was always on a short spring, closed prematurely. I didn’t realize it at the time but an hour or so later, I saw drops of blood and a poor pathetic little tip of tail lying on the back porch. All unpremeditatedly, poor Jeepie had been docked, after all! Luckily he still had most of the tail left, and always drew second glances from passersby who were convinced he was some monster incarnation of your average little yappy, short-ended cocker spaniel — only just a proud foot or so longer than his compatriots. He waved nobly over the land, and my heart, always a pushover for dogs, and their tails too.

My point in telling you this is to point out that, much as I loathe the practice of docking dogs’ tails, I know that there was, at one time, a reason for it. Tail docking, as I understand it, was usually done only in the case of hunting dogs. It spared them the constant pain and discomfort of burrs and stickers which would get caught in the hair as they beat through bushes and brambles on the hunting field. So, you see, there was a reason for it, even if the practice hung on long after its practical value was gone.

In this world, there are some things the value of which depends on the way you look at them. Not everything is black and white.

Of course, this is not only true about our current big question of Republicans versus Democrats. (Not that I don’t have my preference!) It also applies to other issues simmering in our country. For example, what a country! Where citizens prefer slots to taxes to pay their public bills; and where super homemakers, like Martha Stewart, go to jail for evading taxes. On the other hand, what a country! Where Americans contribute more money to charities than any other country in the world. And where it is actually possible for someone to become a millionaire by being a — super-homemaker!

Guess it’s all in the way you look at it.

I’m deaf as a doornail without my hearing aids — but on the other hand I do have my hearing aids. I can complain that too many of my friends are having funerals — but on the other hand, it’s not necessarily a good thing when all those funerals finally stop. It gets lonely at the end.

Did you know that more men are struck by lightning than women, by 5 to 1, actually? I guess that’s bad, if you’re a man. On the other hand, I feel pretty good about it.

But this one hurts. I love nature. I should be happy when all its creatures thrive. Yet, when the blacksnake dines well on robin mignon (with babies), I get upset. I have to keep reminding myself — Maude, it’s all in the way you look at it.

Don’t you hate going into those teensy little bathrooms in airliners? You always have to be careful to go there before they hand out the pretzels and cokes, or you won’t fit. Also, wind turbulence can be awkward enough at the best of times, so to speak.

On the other hand, airliners do have bathrooms.

American political primaries are equally fascinating and appalling, and, as I write this, will be over soon, thank goodness. On the other hand, what would our country be without them?

Maude McDaniel is a Cumberland freelance writer. Her column appears in the Times-News on alternate Sundays.