Published: August 13, 2008 10:29 am         

We weren't interested ... until they started

Nobody was going to watch the Summer Olympics, yet five days into the Games everybody is talking about them.

We're not even a week into things, but already we've seen more drama than we have in all of the All-Star home run-hitting contests combined. Plus, thankfully, there is no moron screaming, "Back-back-back-back-back-back-back!" into our living rooms.

We've been treated to arguably the greatest relay race in Olympic history, the 400 free in swimming; Michael Phelps' quest to become the greatest swimmer in Olympic history, kept alive by Jason Lezak's improbable and historic anchor in the 400 free (and if you want to read about how deep Phelps' roots run through Allegany County, specifically Westernport, be sure to pick up a copy of the August-September issue of Allegany Magazine); and the rookie U.S. men's gymnastics team holding on to earn the bronze medal, despite losing their two best gymnasts to injury.

Yes, of course, the common thread here has been all of the incredible feats we just mentioned were pulled off by American athletes and teams. And there, my friends, is the punch line.

I don't mind telling you I had no intention of bellying up to watch the Olympics any more than I would belly up to a tofu bar. I figured we're exposed to so many sporting events these days, what would make these Games special the way they were in the '60s and '70s when the networks didn't normally produce round-the-clock sports programming?

Out of the blue on Sunday night, though, between pitches of the Sunday night baseball game, I got wind of France's Alain Bernard and his teammates in the 400 free relay running their mouths about how they were going to "smash" the U.S. team. Now, if neither team of swimmers was wearing its country's colors, I wouldn't be able to tell the French team from the American team, but that's the point. Phelps, Cullen Jones, Garrett Weber-Gale and Lezak were wearing my country's colors, so I knew who I was in with. And it was one of the most amazing and exhilarating races of any kind I have ever witnessed. Plus, my own personal vendetta toward France, which we won't get into here, didn't hurt my enjoyment of the moment either.

I literally came out of my chair. Well, actually, I was standing, so I nearly fell on my arse when Lezak caught Bernard at the end.

Nor am I above getting caught up in all of the emotion the athletes let stream out of themselves because of the effort and the devotion they've put into representing their countries. When United States swimmer Natalie Coughlin became the first woman to repeat as champion of the 100 backstroke, winning with an American record of 58.96, I became downright emotional myself in merely watching her on the victory stand. Nearly every muscle in her body was quivering as she sang along to our national anthem. Her entire body shook the whole time she stood up there.

Now, if you can't get caught up in that, if you don't feel the tear coming to your eye, the pride rushing through your heart, then I suggest you try the old mirror-under-the-nose test, because, to paraphrase Hawkeye Pierce, you likely have films of your parents being told you died at birth.

Of course it's patriotic, for all of the countries involved. But we live in the United States, and NBC, an American broadcasting company, is bringing the Olympics to us from the American angle, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's called identifying your market and serving it.

Of course, we also have our petty little diva dramas in this Olympiad - not that I'm calling the great swimmer Mark Spitz a diva. Far from it, in fact, for during the 1972 Summer Games when I was in the seventh grade, I watched his every move and I screamed at the top of my lungs through his every race as he set the existing Olympic record by winning seven gold medals in the same Olympiad.

However, it seems not long ago when asked if he would be on hand for these Games to follow Phelps' quest to break his record of seven gold medals, he said he would be at the Opening Ceremony in Olympics sister city Hong Kong, but would then have to return to the United States to take care of some business.

Yet somewhere between Point A and Point Now, something changed. Spitz now says his feelings are hurt because nobody invited him to be at the Games, including the International Olympic Committee, swimming's world governing body, nor NBC. So Spitz says, as of now, he won't be there, telling Agence France-Presse, "I never got invited. You don't go to the Olympics just to say, 'I am going to go.' Especially because of who I am. I am going to sit there and watch Michael Phelps break my record anonymously? That's almost demeaning to me. It is not almost - it is."

(Why am I thinking Tom Selleck in "In & Out?")

Spitz went on to say he would like to present Phelps with the record-breaking medal should it come to that. Then added, "They voted me one of the top five Olympians in all time. Some of them are dead. But they invited the other ones to go to the Olympics, but not me. Yes, I am a bit upset about it."

Well, Mark, maybe they heard you say that you couldn't be there ... Still, I will agree somebody should have done him the courtesy of calling him and asking him.

I'm sure he'll eventually be invited, likely by NBC, so he'll get his five more minutes, which he certainly deserves.

Sounds like a snub about nothing to me. Somebody get Russell Dalrymple of NBC on the horn. He knows how to handle these things.

Contact Mike Burke at mburke@times-news.com.