My phone rings.
“Is this the guy that writes the sports?”
“I don’t write sports, but I write the outdoor column that sometimes appears in the Sports Section,” I say.
“That’s what I mean,” the caller says. “Anyway, I know a guy who knows a guy who saw a tractor trailer full of coyotes come in from Texas and the DNR let them loose at Rocky Gap State Park.”
“What’s the guy’s name?” I ask. “The guy who saw the truck and the coyotes.”
“I don’t know,” the caller says.
“What’s the guy’s name who knows him?”
“I don’t know his last name.”
“How can I get ahold of him to find out the guy’s name who saw the truck and the coyotes?”
“I don’t know that either.”
“What’s your name?”
“I know a guy who knows a guy who has a video of a coyote den where the coyotes brought 14 fawns back for the pups to eat.”
“Did you see the video?”
“No. But this guy I know did.”
“How can I see the video?”
“I don’t know.”
“I know a guy who knows a guy who shot a coyote with an ear tag that had the name of an insurance company on it.”
“Where can I see the tag?”
“I don’t know.”
“I know a guy who has a friend who saw a DNR helicopter drop rattlesnakes in little blue parachutes.”
“Do you have any of the parachutes or know where I can see one?”
“I know a guy who has proof that the DNR transplanted bears into Maryland.”
“I know a guy who knows a guy who has proof that the DNR brought the blue tongue disease into (Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania) to knock the deer herd down.”
“I know a guy who knows a guy who has a cousin who has pictures of the DNR releasing mountain lions on the Savage River State Forest.”
“I know a guy who can prove that the DNR makes up the deer kill numbers. You know hunters aren’t killing that many deer.”
“Which DNR? Maryland or West Virginia?”
Show me the video. Show me the ear tag. Show me the pictures. Show me the parachutes. Show me the proof. Show me the money.
Otherwise, please don’t call 301-784-2523 with any more of these stories.
I know a guy who knows a guy who doesn’t want to hear them any more.
Contact Outdoor Editor Mike Sawyers at email@example.com.
My phone rings.
Gobbler stuff can get crazy
Tough, old bird
The third gobbler I killed was in 1990 while hunting on Pond Hill near McCoole. Relatively early in the morning I sent out a couple yelp calls. Immediately, 75-100 yards away, what sounded like three gobblers got into a fight.
- Let’s talk about it
AGSA creates website
The Allegany-Garrett Sportsmen’s Association, in existence since 1972, now has a website (www.agsaclub.org).
City-limits deer kill rises
The number of deer killed during Parkersburg’s 2013 urban archery hunt jumped 100 percent from 2012’s total.
Almost Maryland welcomes you back
If you are a hunter in Almost Maryland, circle Thursday on your calendar so you don’t forget to attend the 7 p.m. hearing at Mountain Ridge High School in Frostburg that deals with proposed hunting regulations for the next two years.
Bear Watch - 03/02/2014
An 85-pound female bear with severe mange was shot and killed by a landowner along Everly Road near Accident on Feb. 25 after he received permission from the Maryland Wildlife & Heritage Service to put the animal down.
Md. bear hunt may take on new form
The Maryland Department of Natural Resources says it may change the way black bear hunts are managed to make planning easier for hunters.
W.Va. schedules hunting, fishing regulation meetings
The West Virginia Division of Natural Resources will conduct 12 public meetings across the state in March to provide hunters, trappers, anglers, landowners and other interested parties an opportunity to review and comment on proposed 2014 hunting regulations, proposed 2015 fishing regulations and amphibian and reptile regulations.
- Matched set
Virginia confirms two more CWD deer
Two new cases of chronic wasting disease were detected in Frederick County during the 2013 hunting season, according to the Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries.
- More Outdoors Headlines
- Gobbler stuff can get crazy