Each week the Times-News editorial page features this Hits and Misses column. It is a look at the positive and negative news or events over the past week. Readers are invited to send their suggestions.
• A HIT for the more than 400 participants who dressed in pink for the Western Maryland Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. More than 80 teams worked together to meet a fundraising goal of $110,000.
• A HIT for Bishop Walsh School, which beat St. Maria Goretti for the Maryland Private Schools boys state championship. Ethan Andreassen scored the game-winning goal with 30 seconds left.
• A HIT for Calvary Christian Academy, which won the Mason-Dixon Christian Conference Tournament boys’ soccer championship by beating Cumberland Valley 5-2. Will Speis scored four goals.
• A HIT for the Allegany High School class of 1953, which held its 65th anniversary reunion with two days of activities that included a tour of the new Allegany High.
• A HIT for STEPS — Standing Together Ensures Positive Success — which celebrated its fifth anniversary under the leadership of Lois Bittinger. The group combines support for its members to pursue a healthy lifestyle with weight loss and community service projects. If you wish to join, call Bittinger at 301-895-5871.
• A RELENTLESS IN THE PURSUIT OF JUSTICE for Judge R.W. Buzzard, who took off his robe and gave chase to two handcuffed inmates who ran from his courtroom in Chehalis, Washington. Buzzard caught one just as he was leaving the courthouse, and police nabbed the other a few blocks away.
• OUR HONORABLE MENTION DOLT OF THE WEEK is the Fresno, California, man who set his house on fire while using a blowtorch to kill spiders. He was house-sitting for his parents at the time. He got out safely, but the home’s attic and second story were damaged, and there was no word about what happened to the spiders. Fresno firefighters tweeted, “Please don’t use a blowtorch to kill spiders.” No fooling, Sherlock.
• OUR RESERVE CHAMPION DOLT OF THE WEEK is the 68-year-old New Jersey man who was arrested for dumping his grandson’s dirty diapers at various times on the state’s roadways. A police officer caught him in the act and said the man told him that leaving them around town without being caught “almost became a game.” A motorcyclist totaled his bike and was slightly injured in June after running over one of the diapers. (Seriously ... wouldn’t this make a great video game? What would we call it?)
• OUR GRAND CHAMPION DOLT OF THE WEEK is the Kansas City, Missouri, man who recently pleaded guilty to federal gun and drug charges — but that’s only part of the story. Police said a detective had to cut his original interrogation short due to the man’s repeated demonstrations of flatulence. This certainly is one time the officer wished the suspect HAD exercised his right to remain silent. It’s also an exception to the idea that you should never hold your breath, waiting for someone to confess. (Probably is NOT a good idea for a video game.)
As our old friend Porky used to say, That’s all, folks!