I was hesitant to counter Kevin Shaffer’s reply “Free speech protected, even in public meetings” (Sept. 2) to my commentary “Free speech is not absolute” (Aug. 22) because it’s usually futile matching wits with someone of unrivaled intellect, but after Dean Blandino (NFL replay/review analyst) and I carefully scrutinized Kevin’s previous letters we concluded no such superior mastermind wrote them, so I’m forging ahead.

Kevin, for years your letters have droned on about legislators you feel quashed your right to free speech like prairie grass being trampled upon by stampeding buffalo. Instead of repetitious letters about your perceived harassment and persecution how ‘bout a book instead? “The Trials and Tribulations of Kevin Shaffer: I’m not paranoid but politicians are out to get me.” A sure best seller.

You absurdly believe lawmakers get the T/N and me to do their bidding against you. When the paper called you a “foul-mouthed county employee” you had used profanity and were a county employee, correct? Duh, what else they gonna say?

You say I’m an ignorant Republican misleading the Republican sheep of Allegany County. If asking questions and relaying facts and opinions makes me a shepherd in your eyes, just call me Moses.

You fall into the old trap that freedom of speech lets you say anything you want anywhere you want. Limitations and boundaries do exist to absolute free speech. I’d think a walking encyclopedia on the Constitution like yourself should know that. Doubt me? Say “Hey Google” and look it up.

You say you’d beat the rap if you’re arrested using profanity. If people found your obscenity laced oration so repugnant it incited a melee, is your profanity still protected? I’d love to be around for the subsequent trial. Even O.J.’s lawyers wouldn’t get you off. Plus if you don’t know why the commissioners let you throw your tantrum at that 2019 meeting without stifling you, then you’re pretty dense.

I understand your logic (that’s scary) as you seek apologies for everyone from those dauntless politicians you feel pummeled your rights like a vintage Mike Tyson hammering some palooka. Maybe you should consecrate yourself Chief Apology Advocate-Allegany County or CAAAC for short (sounds like something a cat yakked up). Then again Kevin, maybe folks ‘round these parts don’t want or need you speaking for them.

I’m blackballed to your apology list with Messrs. Edwards, McKay, Valentine and Brodie for I guess hurting your feelings. I can’t speak for my unwavering co-conspirators as I’m not authorized, but you have a better chance of finding Jimmy Hoffa’s body than of me apologizing.

Kevin, two commentaries about you constitute cruel and unusual punishment to any reader so I’m done writing about you, and even I tire of myself after two similar subject compositions. I’m sure you’ll continue to regale us with your tales of woe for years to come though. In your next letter when you castigate my blacklisted companions and me remember we’ve been called much worse by better people than you, plus you’ll be leaving other good people alone.

I must get baaaaack to my flock now Kevin, we’re spreading the word that if that hybrid dwarf Sleepy/Dopey Joe wins we all lose, whereas a Republican victory means only you donkeys lose.

Lastly, if you’re a fellow vocabularian pejorative was a dandy word to put in your last letter, provided you had it in your back pocket just waiting to use. If you had to look it up I hope you at least remembered the definition.

Jack Drury


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